What? "If you are keeping a similar secret inside your bones, know it was never your fault. You are not to blame." Exactly whose fault is it that you chose to keep it a secret for 25 years? What he did is what he did. And he is to be held accountable for that. But what you did in reaction to that is to badly mishandle your own wounds.

You are not responsible for being a victim or rape, BUT YOU ARE accountable for cooperating with the abuser in the secret-keeping. You are guilty of mishandling the shame and fear by capitulating to them in bundling it inside as a secret. You embraced self-abuse in the secret-keeping. You chose, in this way, this reaction, to compound the damage to yourself, needlessly. Glad you finally chose to free yourself from the secret of it and that attached misplaced shame. While it was not your fault, what he did; it is your fault about what you did ABOUT what he did. Will you forgive yourself for mishandling the wound - the decades of self-abuse from toxic shame?