Seeking your soulmate? You’re probably doing it wrong.
Our “soulmate” is the person who stimulates the most growth and virtue in us. (aka Christ-likeness) Thus, they are more like a personal trainer pushing us to do more reps than they are to coddle our comfort or what we imagine will make us the most happy.
Your soulmate will demolish every place in your life where you’ve been toying with compromise. Will disrupt every lie you are entertaining. Will confront the selfishness and lovelessness in you.
Let’s start with the lie that a soulmate is there to “complete” you or “fill” your heart. Whatever elusive feeling of being loved we thing that these words mean. Instead, they are the one most fiercely commuted to your maximum growth.
The flesh wants comfort and control. It wants validation and affirmation. Your flesh LIE to you and tell you that this is your deepest and most pressing need. The problem with this is when it gets to a certain level of validation and affirmation that it will STOP GROWING and confronting its own failures to truly love well. But true love wants your full might to blossom forth in radical goodness that destroys the evils around you so that maximum beauty can be best cultivated.
Your soulmate thus cares SO MUCH about your highest well being as to provide ruthless compassion. Look to the person disrupting comfort zones with truth to call you higher and higher, beyond the old you. They respect you enough to not tolerate things in you that are not your God-intended you.
That is so risky and unselfish that most never get close to their actual soulmate and instead settle for a plateau, the same life plateau they will regret in eternity. Your soulmate loves you enough to dismantle things with would make for regret, and they always seek God to discern and provide for you that which positions you long-term the closest to God’s throne.
People act AS IF they want their soulmate, as they do in superficial selfish ways, because most people live with far lesser goals and fail the entire reason to even be on Earth — to be a loving force for maximum good. But a soulmate will receive from God and hear what God wants for you, and then be unselfish enough to provide that towards you, without regard for your mere short-term feelings.
