Personal Pain vs Physical Pleasure
You simply cannot heal/remove Personal Pain with Physical Pleasure. Otherwise instead of the booming field of psychotherapy, there would only be brothels and cocaine. You could disappear hurts by just giving people some pleasure moments, and all would be well. But it does not work like that.
Most of what drives the people around you is some component/aspect of actual LOVE that was missing in those early years from parent to child. No parents are perfect and some are better/worse than others.
But if something is MISSING in your heart, whether your mind knows it or not or can put words to it or not, your heart does know… and it goes around seeking that part — usually in other relationships, but also in things like career, materialism, pleasure, status, etc.. Those substitutes and distractions never heal you or fulfill you.
The good feeling from the neurochemicals after sex is there because it is supposed to be connected to actual intimacy. These feelings are close to what actual WHOLENESS feels like. We get messed up in broken strategies to try to fulfill legitimate underlying needs.
Most people carry this missing QUEST into their marriages, trying to make their marriage partner be that Mommy or Daddy love they feel they did not get enough of. The marriage partner is NOT meant to be that. Not a parent substitute or surrogate. Don’t try to turn a marriage into re-parenting.
Jesus TRULY knows you, every moment of your life, and every facet of your heart. Your heart is not fully safe in mere human hands, even when they are really well-intentioned. Your heart IS safe in Jesus’ hands. Pray and reach back out to Jesus. Put your heart in His hands, so to speak.
Usually (there is no one size fits all), Jesus will heal some aspects of your wounds quickly and other aspects more slowly. Be persistent. Jesus IS the healing. Jesus is the answer. Keep on seeking Him. Your mind probably will not understand it. That is OK; it is spiritual. Regardless of how things feel in any given moment, keep on trusting Jesus — be honest and vulnerable and real with Jesus.
